i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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