I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Go christen that room with your naked body.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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