you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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