I can tuck mytits in my pants
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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