My brain says no but my pants say off.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
