Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It was a blind-side dick pic.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
