somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Porn is love you can see.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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