3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
