Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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