she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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