just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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