We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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