I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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