So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Randomize
