Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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