i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
