im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
