don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she looked like the before picture.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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