You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
