My liver just broke up with me...
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Randomize
