whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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