Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
