that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
