Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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