Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
