Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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