party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
