the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize