Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
