I only kidnapped one of them. chill
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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