accomplished twins. life is a go
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
