I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
