I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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