We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
