Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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