just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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