and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
