i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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