What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
cat food counts as protein by the way
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
