wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize