Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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