i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize