I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
How's work?
Spinning.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
