My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
