I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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