Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
