highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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