I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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