I'm really into asian looking animals
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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