How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
