You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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