I don't think brook has ever known best
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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