I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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