alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
