he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize