i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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