I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
