is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
