we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
