I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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