with your own penis?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
