Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
